I Fought the Law

Some Denver Photos

By popular demand I'm uploading a handful of photos from our first week and a half in Denver. First, the view from my office:

I'm pretty sure I only got this view because someone left right before I got there, and this was the only available office. But catch as catch can.

Since we figured my five-speed Honda Civic wouldn't do very well being driven in the snow by someone who has never driven in snow before, we sold the Civic in California and started shopping for a used four-wheel-drive car when we got here. Dr. M found a great deal on a 2007 Subaru Forester, which a local Dodge dealership was selling at substantially below Bluebook value just to get it off the lot (apparently Dodges don't cotton well to foreign interlopers). When we got to the dealership there was another couple looking at it, but they passed because they didn't like the color. I don't mind the color, which is officially called "champagne":

If you look closely you can see the Colorado plates on Dr. M's CRV (or perhaps you can't in the shrunken photo). We're doing our best to assimilate quickly and start pouring our moneys into the Colorado coffers rather than California's.

Last weekend we participated in a photo scavenger hunt based in Berkeley, taking a bunch of photos downtown. I wasn't expecting the 16th Street Mall to be quite so jumping on a Saturday, but I was wrong. It was lively as all get-out. It was nice to see some trappings of San Francisco -- anyone who has spent any time at Fisherman's Wharf or the Powell Street trolley stop is familiar with people pretending to be robots for money:

Though I should say that this woman was technically a statue, not a robot, but it was the same basic idea. We made the makeshift flag so we could enter her into the "Robot Fourth of July" category. The sassy pose was her idea.

Other aspects of downtown were less familiar. For example, there are Scientologist recruitment centers disguised as stress test sites all over downtown San Francisco. In Denver, there was a large group of anti-Scientologists like this guy, dressed in similar outfits and handing out anti-Scientology literature:

There were also these two people, which I don't know what to make of:

They weren't preaching or prosthelytizing, they were just standing there menacingly with their Bibles, like two crocodiles watching a herd of zebras cross a river.

As for the cats, they've adjusted well to the move, though I'm still keeping them on their toes by pretending that I have superpowers. I convinced Pepe that I could control gravitational fields:

This picture was taken eight days ago and he's still sitting there.

Our First Denver Area Social Outing, and How It Went

Dr. M and I have been residents of the state of Colorado for about a week now, and last night we went out for our first proper social outing, i.e. an adventure beyond the walls of our temporary condo that wasn't geared explicitly toward the gathering of food or some other tedious errand. Okay, well, technically we went out and did a photo scavenger hunt on Saturday, but that was a Bay Area-based event so it doesn't count.

Anyway. Dr. M has been researching things to do in the area and came across Geeks Who Drink, a bar trivia operation that hosts events all over the Denver metro area (and is also available for private parties, as it turns out). Last night they had a trivia contest at an Irish pub-themed bar in Aurora, so we decided to check it out. Bar trivia veterans by no means, our experience had been limited to serving as dead weight on various teams at Berkeley's Albatross trivia nights, where the questions are so difficult that no normal human being who doesn't do bar trivia every week should be able to answer them.

The bar itself was in a very elaborate outdoor mall in Aurora that was reminiscent of Bay Street in Emeryville except that it was larger and we were able to drive there without wanting to kill ourselves afterwards (the roads leading there tended to be in straight lines, signage was manifestly adequate, turning lanes gave more than about ten feet worth of notice, etc.). There were about ten or eleven teams playing, including one group of folks consisting of a few over-served women headed by a very loud man who decided to sit right behind us and make his feelings known on every conceivable issue (more on this later).

The bartender carded me and seemed a bit flummoxed by my California ID. It turns out his flummoxment was more directed at the East Bay address on my license, as he himself was an East-Bayer (which is almost "Easter" in Piglatin) who had been living in Denver for twelve years. The trivia questions were a more digestible mix than I was used to at Albatross and at the first scoring break we were actually tied for third. At the next break we were holding third and going into the final round we were standing alone in second place. We ended up getting fourth place and here's why.

The answer sheet for each round has a joker head on it that you're supposed to circle if you want your points for that round to count double. The first seven rounds were all worth about the same number of points (most questions were worth one point), so we used our joker on a later round on which we thought we had done well. Well. Round eight was a hodgepodge round in which point values for each question ranged from one to four points, and the whole round was probably worth over twenty points. Almost nobody had used their joker before round eight, so everyone except us got double points for the final, giant round. A newbie blunder on our part, to be sure, and one that will not be repeated. Still, we (or at least I) felt soured by the experience and we didn't stick around for the photos.

Over the course of the evening the loud guy behind us took a shine to us for some reason and we ended up chatting with him. He ended up being a nice guy, who also has a home in Northern California and whose wife grew up in my Southern California hometown. He also had a Starbucks insulated coffee mug full of wine, which I feel is worth mentioning. He told us he was really pulling for us to win it at the end and was sorry we didn't.

On our way out I went to settle up at the bar and the bartender said it was on the house because we were from the East Bay. Very nice.

So, during our first (sort of) social outing we got niced up by a couple of folks from California and screwed over by a Denver-based trivia operation. I'm sure things will turn upward from here.

Moving to Colorado, BRB

I know everyone is dying to know what I think about the fact that the Supreme Court rejected the death penalty for kiddie rapers, that Justice Scalia thinks the Constitution got words in there we don't even need and that Justice Kennedy is going to kill us all, about the dreadfully uninteresting Kozinski pr0n clusterfuck and about any other legal tidbits I may have missed over the past week since I quit my job and AT&T shut off my Internet ten days earky (this post is being typed on. Blackberry and damn it all if I'm going to go back and poorfread it).
It took me so long to type that that I don't remember what the point of it was and I can't see it anymore so I suppose it will have to remain a mystery. Anyway, here's what I'm here to say: I'm move to Colorado in three days anbd regular blogging will resume at some point soon thereafter. I don't anticipate my relocation having a drastic effect on the content of this blog, but don't be surprised to find me writing more about snow, mountains, granola, dogs, the telecommunications industry, quality public schools, or affordable housing. I'm just letting you know.
Also, if you never hear from me again it probably means I succame to altitude sickness somewhere near the Donner pass and drove my wife, two cats, and unborn child off a cliff. Please don't give up the search, because we'll have my laptop with us and there's all kinds of cool shit on there.
See you on the other side of the Rockies.

Here Comes Horse

Dr. M, Dr. M's mother, and I are in Denver on a daring house-hunting safari. Because it is impossible for me to do anything with a modicum of simplicity, the three of us each arrived in Denver on different days of the past week. As such, last night Dr. M's mom and I were driving our rented Dodge Nitro (YEEEEAHHHH!!!!) to the Denver International Airport to pick up Dr. M. The Denver International Airport is a terrible place, for many reasons, among them being the fact that the people in charge of the airport thought it would be a good idea to welcome travelers to Denver by presenting them with a massive, terrifying hell-horse:

(No, that isn't a trick of the camera -- the horse's eyes actually glow red.) The hell-horse statue, standing at thirty-two feet and bearing the unassuming title "Mustang," rivals the San Jose Poop Snake on my list of dumbest pieces of civic art.

Anyway, the point of this story is that, as Dr. M's mom and I approached the airport last night, we had this conversation:

Me: Hey, check out the giant horse.

Her: Oh, that's terrifying. It's going to give me nightmares.

Me: Night... mares?

(Yes, I know I'm not the first person to make this joke.)

Conversations With My Wife: Former Presidents Edition

Me: I would love to be a former president. I mean, look at Barack Obama. Even if he serves eight years, he'll be in his mid-fifties when he retires. He'll have a federal pension, he'll get to write his memoir, build a library, and do whatever he wants for the rest of his life. Thirty years of Saturdays.

Her: John McCain not so much. Because he'll be dead.

Me: Indeed. [...] I would hate being president, but I'd love to be a former president.

Her: Maybe you can be John McCain's former president.

Lessons from My First Game of Ultimate [Frisbee]*

WT was kind enough to invite me to play Ultimate Frisbee this morning in Golden Gate Park. Serenaded by the DJ for the nearby base for the NAMI charity walk, we hurled our novelty flying disc hither and yon, and my team got positively beasted by the other team (at least until halftime when I left -- I have every reason to believe that they turned things around once they were rid of my deader-than-dead weight). I think WT set it up that way on purpose, but I'll never be sure.

In any case, I have compiled the below McSweeneiyeys-style list that encapsulates what I learned from my first Ultimate Frisbee experience:

Battle Tactics in Order of Decreasing Effectiveness in Ultimate Frisbee and Increasing Effectiveness in Science Fiction and Fantasy Stories

Waving your arms

Wearing cleats

Shooting backwards

Limiting frontal assaults to the outside lanes

Communicating with teammates in Klingon

Exploiting the principles of angular momentum

Communicating with teammates in Elvish

Unexpected arrival of last-minute reinforcements

Swordplay

Communicating with teammates in Chakobsa

"The enemy's gate is down."

Time travel

Reprogramming the simulator

* As an IP geek I'm always a stickler for trademark issues, and the official title of the game is, indeed, "Ultimate," because "Frisbee" is a trademark.

This is a Post About the Lost Season Finale

Spoilers ahoy.

The Season Four finale was strong overall and definitely seals up this season as a departure from the poorly-paced crappiness of seasons past (especially Season Three). Plenty of information revealed, lots of plot progression, and a healthy-sized dosage of mystery for its own sake. There have been many explanations floating around for why Season Four has been better constructed than before -- the two principal theories being that the writers now have a hard and fast end-date for the show, allowing them to develop a clearer vision for the remaining story, and the fact that the writers' strike this past year forced the writers to pack more information into fewer episodes. Whatever the explanation is, I likes it.

Having the first scene begin exactly where the final scene of Season Three ended was clever, and strongly suggested that we would find out who Jeremy Bentham is (which we do, predictably, in the very last shot of the episode). At first the fact that Kate stopped the car and got out to yell at Jack seemed a tad jarring, but it makes sense. Until that point Kate's attitude toward Jack's suggestion that they go back seemed to be "Oh, you're a crazy drugged-up fool." Now we know that Kate adamantly refuses to go back to the Island and is enraged by the very idea. The final scene, in which Ben teams up with Jack to try to get the Oceanic Six-Plus-One back to the Island indicates that getting everyone together and willing to return will be a project next season.

The flash-forwards were uneven. The Hurley scenes were great, further teasing out the Bentham mystery (via yet another season finale cameo by WAAAAAALT), and the fact that Shere Khan and company are still relentlessly tailing the Oceanic Six and trying to get their filthy paws on the Island. Kate flashbacks/forwards are almost universally dull, and last night's was no exception. We have no idea whether Claire was really just a dream or an actual communication from the Island. The Jack/Ben scene is unclear on this. We don't know whether the Island wants all six/seven of them back, or whether it wants all of them to stay away, and Ben needs to somehow finagle his way back to the Island by getting them back all at once. The fact that Christian took Claire without taking Aaron, coupled with the dream sequence, suggests that the Island, or some force on the Island, doesn't want Aaron there, but we have no idea why.

The Sun flashforward was 100% dumb for reasons I'll get into below.

As for the Island action, we again got to see a lot of Ben, and a lot of Michael Emerson's acting talents. The Ben/Locke odd couple routine was entertaining, particularly where Ben shakes the flowers at him. It was just a very natural moment. Ben's numerous attitude shifts in the episode were all well-done. His casual, matter-of-fact, "Okay, now what?" reaction to being rescued amid a hail of gunfire and the deal that the Others worked out with Kate and Sayid (whose fight with Keamy, by the way, was awesome); his irritability while setting up the Island move as Locke peppers him with questions (in retrospect there's actually a lot going on here -- He's resentful of Locke for taking his place as the Island Prophet, he's full of rage at the idea of going after Whidmore, he's sad about leaving the Island, etc.); his loss of control when he attacks Keamy... In what was one of the episode's best moments, we see his face turn from exertion to anguish as he rotates the mechanism that moves the Island, realizing that he's about to leave the Island forever (though not really, perhaps, based on the final scene).

There were some good smaller moments on the Island involving the ancillary characters, that set up some things that will no doubt be explored in the coming seasons. The scene with Miles and Rose was great, pitting Rose's unflagging and fanatical commitment to etiquette and propriety against Miles' relentless irreverence and indifference. What was great here is that Miles, jerk though he is, once again goes along with things rather than spark open conflict. Rather than challenge Rose, he just says, somewhat sarcastically, "M-may I eat these peanuts?", just as he never seriously challenged Sawyer's assertion of authority over him.

We find out that Charlotte has some prior connection to the Island but we get no further information whatsoever (other than Charlotte's tendency to react incredulously when people reveal to her that they know things about her she's trying to keep secret). We don't get much Dan action, and we still have no idea why the newscast made him cry or who was with him when he was watching it (I have a feeling it will somehow turn out to be Charlotte, but don't quote me on that).

So, on to what I didn't like. The freighter bomb made no sense at all. Why on earth would Keamy go through all the trouble of (1) smuggling a ton of C4 onto the boat, (2) secretly building a bomb out of it, (3) rigging a remote detonator, and (4) programming the remote detonator to go off by monitoring his own heart rate, and then not tell anyone about it? Or, rather, tell only Ben, somehow relying on the fact that Ben will be so concerned with the fates of a bunch of strangers on a boat who have come to the Island with the specific intention of stealing it from him that he'll immediately surrender? Either he's just crazy, which isn't very interesting, or he's just spiteful and doesn't want anyone else to survive if he doesn't. There's just no way he can realistically expect any useful leverage from the bomb. It's a completely illogical set-up for some pretty dumb plot points. To whit:

An uninteresting exploration of Ben's morals. Ben has always talked about how he doesn't kill innocent people, blah blah blah, but then reacts with Cheney-liked indifference when Locke tells him he just made the boat explode. Presumably, we're supposed to think that this is part of Whidmore having "changed the rules" by killing Ben's daughter, though this fails under Ben's own logic. He absolves himself of responsibility for the deaths of Libby and Analucia because Michael actually pulled the trigger, but never gets a straight answer from Keamy as to whether Whidmore told him to kill Alex before going off half-cocked in search of vengeance. So that was dumb.

The exploding freighter was also a unnecessarily dramatic and non-sensical way to kill off Jin and set up the completely bonkers Sun flashforward storyline. We're supposed to believe that Sun, witnessing her husband and the father of her child get exploded on a boat, swears blood vengeance on the two men she holds responsible for his death (her father and Whidmore), returns to Korea, and then executes her vengenace through... lopsided business deals!!! Seriously, what the hell. The Sun rudder has been broken ever since the beginning of Season Three when she killed (!!!) one of the Others and we never heard about it again. Expect some mad Sun crappiness going forward, folks.

Another nitpicky thing: Unless the Island is floating, which it shouldn't be based on the fact that people are able to get to it and from it using a special set of coordinates, there should have been a much more dramatic set of waterworks when it disappeared. A vanishing volcanic Island would create a hole in the ocean from the surface to the ocean floor. The water rushing in to fill the void would create much more of a disturbance than the modest bloop-bloop we saw in the episode. I'm just saying.

There's certainly more to talk about, but that's about what I have to say. And next season, three words: Weekend at Locke's.